That Mom

I realized today I'm that mom. The mom who allows her kids to (occasionally) run around in nothing but a diaper, the mom who yells at her kids across the grocery to put the Pop Tarts back, the mom who lets her kids scream from the other side of the locked door while I get ready for the day. I'm that mom. Sometimes when I do, or don't do, things, I'll think, "If something happens to my kids, and I end up on tonight's news, everyone will be asking, 'Where was the mother?'" That mom. Like the time Girly-girl took off all of her clothes, slipped out the back door in nothing but a diaper, ran around to the front steps, removed her diaper, peed on the middle step, then took off streaking down the sidewalk at 3 in the afternoon. "Where is the mother?" Two steps behind my exhibitionist toddler, trying to convince myself not to bring harm against someone who says "akeekee" instead of "drink," and ignoring the questioning glance of my neighbor who pulled up in time to see me haul Girly-girl into the house by her upper arm, naked body flailing behind.

But I'm not always that mom. I think we all have that mom moments, but aren't completely that mom. Most days, my kids are dressed and I don't take all the kids to the grocery store. Most days, we dance and sing, make cookies, and read books. Most days, I really like my job. And when I find myself being that mom, I try to remember that that mom moments are ok because I won't always have little kids. One day, my kids will grow up and I will no longer be changing diapers 12 times a day, or wiping food, snot and goobers off chubby, smiling faces. I won't always have food dried and crusty on my shoulder. I won't always have a sweet baby to cuddle or little toe nails to paint. I won't always have to clear toys from my bed or find a granola bar in my jewelry box. I won't always have children fighting over my lap or asking for a hug and a kiss at night. No, I won't always be that mom. But I'll always be their mom, and I wouldn't have it any other way.